Rockin' in my 50s: Love, Independence and Ageism

Being a hard rockin’ 50-something-year-old woman is a unique experience filled with ups and downs, laughs and tears, and of course, plenty of rock and roll. As I reflect on my life so far, I can’t help but chuckle at some of the situations I’ve found myself in.

First and foremost, let’s talk about love. Ah, love. The one thing that can lift you up to the highest highs and then drop you down to the lowest lows. As a 50-something-year-old woman, love has been a rollercoaster ride for me. I’ve been loved, I’ve been discarded, and I’ve even loved and discarded myself a few times. But through it all, I’ve learned that love is a funny thing. It can make you feel like you’re on top of the world one minute and then leave you wondering what the heck just happened the next.

At the age of 48, I did something that I never thought I would do – I started a relationship with my ex-boyfriend from the 1990s. We had initially broken up due to ‘circumstances’ (code for me being immature and not recognising a good thing when it was right in front of me), but our connection never truly faded away. Five years later, we are still together and more in love than ever before.

Breaking the “rule” of not getting back together with an ex was a risk, but it has proven to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. Our relationship is built on a foundation of mutual respect, trust, and understanding. It also comprises many new adventures where we rock to the early hours at rock festivals and gigs and go on a drunken soiree around Liverpool every Christmas together. He lives in England, and somehow I live in Northern Ireland (that is a later story) – but these two Gen X’ers have worked out how to use the technology, and it’s as if we are living together most of the time.

But hey, that’s life, right?

Now, let’s talk about being a hard rocker. As a woman who loves her rock music, I’ve had my fair share of air guitar solos in my living room and judging a man for his less-than-assertive taste in music. There’s something about the raw energy and rebellious spirit of rock music that speaks to my soul. Whether I’m blasting Metallica (James Hetfield – I will always be yours) in the car or rocking out to Alice in Chains in my kitchen, I can’t help but feel alive and invincible. My kids are exasperated with me as I meet them wearing jeans, boots, a rock band t-shirt, a leather jacket, and sporting my jet black hair. Do I care? They’ll get over it. It’s character-building to have an embarrassing mom. I just hope that they fall in love with a music genre and rock it in their 50s at music festivals and gigs like their mom.

Sure, some people might think I’m too old for this stuff, but I say rock on, baby! Let’s not forget the hilarious moments that come with being a 50-something-year-old woman. Like the time I tried to keep up with the young kids with black makeup and ended up spending a 2-week holiday resembling Alice Cooper’s look, as the black eye makeup just wouldn’t stay on my eyes. Or the times I’ve accidentally called my current love by my ex’s name, especially after intimate moments—senile moments, I call that (awkward, to say the least). Life can be funny like that, throwing unexpected curveballs our way and forcing us to laugh at ourselves.

So here’s to all the hard rockin’, loved up, and occasionally discarded 50-something-year-old women out there. Embrace the laughter, the love, and the rock and roll that make life such a wild and wonderful ride. And remember, age is just a number – it’s how you rock it that truly matters. Keep on rocking, ladies!.