Rockin' in my 50s: Love, Independence and Ageism

My ex (father of my twins) first relationship after we split was with a Russian gold digger. She worked at the local launderette, and their eyes met over the industrial washing machine. Apparently her face looked like a slapped backside but her body was ‘the most beautiful thing he had seen’. She gave him the best bedroom fun of his life – which was strange, because when we were together, I actually assumed he wasn’t interested in women. – so good on him that he managed to find some testosterone for that short lived fated relationship!

However, all this fun came at a price. The ‘Russian woman’ had many men in her life, and they were all expected to bring riches. In return, she would wear PVC bedroom gear and call them ‘daddy’. Some may conclude she was a ‘woman of the night’, but he insisted she was his girlfriend.

So, gold diggers, they are like treasure hunters, except instead of searching for buried chests full of jewels and doubloons, they are on the lookout for wealthy partners to fund their extravagant lifestyles. These savvy individuals have turned greed into an art form, mastering the art of seduction and manipulation to achieve their ultimate goal of landing a sugar daddy.

My ex is 5 foot 7 inches tall (although his dating profiles claim he’s 5 foot 9), 53 years old, and not particularly attractive. She was 5 foot 9 with legs so long that they were taller than my legs and torso combined. Therefore, they werent physically or academically matched.

However, they were well-matched because they both got something they wanted from the relationship. With her, it was expensive meals, luxurious hotel breaks, and costly jewellery. (It’s bizarre because when he was with me, he kept a spreadsheet. The mean guy would even record if he bought me an ice cream and then send me monthly tallies of what I spent versus what he spent). For him, the short man was able to stroll around with a tall, blonde woman and flaunt her as if she were his BMW, and then have obvious fun in the bedroom.

Gold diggers are clever – Russian woman was always clad in designer clothes and perfectly coiffed hair, sashaying through rural Northern Ireland with their sights set on the wealthiest person in each village to use as her next prey. I was one of the fortunate ones as i had split from my ex when they hooked up, but she ruined many great marriages with her preying behaviour. She possess a radar-like ability to sniff out potential targets, zeroing in on anyone who shows even the slightest hint of being financially well-off.

I have found her fascinating. As a lifelong proud independent woman who has a suffragette in her family line, she was the complete opposite of me. Therefore, for a while I studied her as I didnt know whether she was underhand or whether she was using men because that was what these men dserved.

In my study of her, I noticed her tactics were as subtle as a sledgehammer – as she would use social media extensively to trap her prey as her Facebook page looked more like a Just for Men site, plus the laundrette was simply a place where she could trap the less outgoing ones (like my ex). To her, relationships are primarily about material gain rather than genuine emotional connections.

In a world where status and wealth reign supreme, gold diggers are the ultimate opportunists, always on the lookout for the next big score. She viewed love as a transactional affair where the currency is cold, hard cash. Yet beneath her glamorous exterior lies deep-rooted insecurity and a fear of not being able to sustain their extravagant lifestyle on her own merits. I understand that she was mentally unwell and was receiving medication for this very reason. She would occasionally make public social media posts demonstrating how unhappy she was.

How did it end? Well my ex found out that the Russian gold digger was dating 6 other men – one for each night of the week and all for expensive gifts. She insisted that everyone should buy her a bottle of Captain Morgan’s for each date, and it should have been obvious to him when he saw her garden shed was full of them! He was very upset, like a heartbroken teenager for about six months. Then he tried dating regular women for a while, but it never worked out. He is now dating a woman who he has never met from Nigeria and I hope to god he’s not stupid enough to be conned out of the twins future inheritance!

I am open-minded and hesitant to make quick judgments. In a society that glorifies wealth and success, it’s understandable that some people might view gold digging as a viable career option. Similarly, in a society where some men measure success by the attractiveness of the woman on their arm, there exists a scenario where these two types of people are a perfect match. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, as long as both parties are aware of the dynamics at play.

In conclusion, whether you find a gold diggers tactics amusing or abhorrent, one thing is for certain – they will stop at nothing to achieve their goal of striking it rich with their chosen partner, and men are consenting in this process.